Monday, September 15, 2008

The Fairy Queen

The Fairy Queen

by Brother Harmonius

October 25, 2007

Some of my most meaningful psychedelic experiences have come with the aid of psilocybe mushrooms. I have taken many trips with the mushroom, and all of them good.

On one occasion I combined mushrooms with smoking salvia divinorum. I should get back to that event, because I saw the great matrix of humanity, was a member of that structure obliquely referred to in a Sub Rosa interview with visionary artist Alex Grey, among other places.

Another trip was conjoined by a woman friend inside my New York apartment. Two visions stood out from that experience, and what they had in common was that we saw them together. I don't think I'm overplaying their significance, even 10 years later. I hope that my estranged friend at least keeps that memory from our year together.

The visions were these: in the first, we told each other that we saw auras, not only auras of people--each other--but also around other things. It was a generally omnipresent yellow, or, as we more specifically described it, "Gatorade" colored halo.

The second shared vision seems more remarkable. "J" pointed to a bare area of my white wall, and said she saw a portal. Until then, the concept of the portal was rather obscure to me. However, I also saw the portal where she pointed. I will describe it.

The portal, as I saw it, was about two feet in diameter. It was something like a sphincter, without putting too crude a spin on it. The center was denser than the perimeter. Psychedelic imagery is a kind of overlay of geometric patterns, or sometimes it is as if the patterns are themselves infused into the objects of the visual field. This isn't exactly my vision, but it was as if the event-horizon of a black hole was located at a particular spot on my wall, and I could throw something through the vortex. Another metaphor would be water circling down a sink drain or toilet.

I relate these visions because they were achieved through the synergy of sacred imagination and psilocybe. All of my psilocybe journeys have been pleasant, and while I have never been a habitual user, I would have more adventures if availability and occasion permitted.

Which brings me to the visions I saw during my last mushroom trip. Very briefly, with eyes closed, and under a very small dose of what was probably one tiny mushroom (I have a very stingy brother) I saw the fairy queen.

Here is her description: first, her location was as remote as could be. She wasn't just in another part of the earth, and she wasn't just in another part of the galaxy (and who can be sure of such things?). She was in an altogether remote dimension, and no technology besides that gift of nature could have made her accessible. It did vaguely seem as though she were enclosed somewhere deep inside the earth. Imagine a grotto the walls of which are multicolored, like painted tiles. But not hard looking, it was as if she were in a vibrant royal chamber.

Her aspect was smiling. Not only did I not see her moving, but it was rather like looking at a still photograph. Her features were Asian. Her hair was jet, and short. She wore something like an ornate gold helmet. Her clothing was more like a kind of sequined chain mail. She was sitting. I had the impression afterward that she allowed me to see her. I was honored.

I could not stay. The vision receded, or I receded from her domain. The vision was all too short, but very intense. Though I was still under the spell of the mushroom I could not bring her back.

That vision was powerful enough that I sculpted a caricaturized model of my dear fairy queen, using an egg and polymer clay. The mushroom induced visions are often ephemeral and supercilious. Not so with this vision. I was very much out of body. It had a concreteness about it that left an indelible impression.

The fairy queen vision was true shamanist soul travel. It was deep and inner. What it taught me was that there are definite divisions that separate these worlds we are talking about. The fairy queen was not simply a human-like woman who happened to wear a different dress. Everything about her and the world she inhabited was of a different order. To be lost in such a world is to be cut off for all time from the human realm.

There are no roads leading in and out of the fairy kingdom. I wonder if she is only one of the beings in an altogether cut off land. The vision restored my faith in the continuation of spirit.

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